Dating widower with children

What you might see as attraction may just be his way of having some companionship and he may not be ready to move further.2. Okay, maybe I'm old fashioned but when I get emails that talk about a long-term relationship and getting serious before basic dating has even begun, well I wonder about the person's intentions. The widow/widower is going through a rough time and jumping 10 steps ahead isn't going to help either one of you.3. This is such a popular topic that I have to talk about it.I received one email recently that it 'bothered' the person that widower had a picture of his late wife in his house.The latest post at Abel Keogh’s Running Forward Widower Wednesday talks about pre-nups, wills and adult kids who can’t wrap their minds around the idea that their parents’ “wealth” belongs to their parents and not them. People who were fine with idea of remarriage but adamant that their late spouse’s hard-earned this or that would never, ever, ever benefit in any way, shape or form the next spouse or, goddess in heaven forbid, his/her worthless children. What happens, or is accumulated on earth, stays on earth.A whole lot of assumption but basically stemming from the odd notion that what your late spouse might have left you in the form of life insurance, marital home or other valuables is somehow still his or hers. Furthermore, it becomes the property of someone else, who is now free to do whatever the hell they want with it. I have seldom witnessed someone inherit from a parent or grandparent and not piss the money away like trailer trash with a Power Ball jackpot. And because I was completely stunned that anyone would ask such a question at such a time, I told her. It wasn’t until much later – after mother-in-law absconded with money from the memorial that was meant to help cover the expense of it – that I realized the inquiry about life insurance was about calculating her cut.

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They might have a bad day because something reminded them so don't take it personally.6. I get some letters where the widow/widower has taken a step back after being in a relationship for a period of time.

Inheritance is a form of expectation based upon nothing more than the notion that because you sired or birthed them, they are entitled to some sort of monetary reward triggered by your death.

It’s wonderful when we can leave our kids, or grandkids, a little something, or even a lot of something, but we should shy far away from leading them to expect this from us.

eating or paying the property tax and keeping a roof over their elderly heads. Their mommy or daddy would have wanted you to put your new spouse at the mercy of your greedy kids because after all, she or he worked themselves to death for the money that was left to you. They took out that life insurance or built up the retirement plan to take care of you. Not your grown up kids, who you should have been taught well enough to be able to pay their own bills, save for their own retirement and goodies. Money we inherit is no longer anyone’s money but ours.

Yes, we have an obligation to use it for the benefit of our minor children and to see that our very young adult children find a good footing in life, but at some point our kids get old. Sometimes as old as we were when we were widowed in the first place.

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